January 17, 2010

Oh, Tears, I Thought We Had Made our Peace

So, this must be one of the days people warn you about.

One of those days when the hurt just creeps right in.

The tears are just ready to spring, at any moment, now that the house is quiet and all that is left to do is to open the door for the dog one more time before bed.

It is not as though there weren't moments to treasure today. There were. My daughter and I spent the day with one of her best little gal pals and her mother, who is, without a doubt, one of the most wonderful friends I will ever have. (S, I love you dearly).

And here come the tears .....

My heart is lonely.

I watched my friend and her husband tonight, as I crashed in her living room and ate their pizza. I noticed the way he made her laugh with some of the silly things he said. I looked at the pictures of their beautiful family throughout the house. My eyes lingered on two wedding pictures, and I smiled at how young and gorgeous they looked, so free from worry.

It is not as if they have had a perfectly easy road to travel. They haven't. And, yet, there they are ... laughing in their living room, loving their children.

My eyes, a good-deal Irish though they be, are not smilin' tonight. They are red-rimmed and sore. I suppose it is surprising I have gone this long without breaking down. But, wow, do I feel broken.

And now to open the door for the dog ....

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