So, a few days ago I posted about why I blog.
And I hoped for some new wonderful things about which to write.
These days, wonderful is a very tall order. I have been through hell.
Tonight I laughed at my daughter as I followed her and her brother around the block. They were on bikes. I was on foot. She looked at a driveway to see a child's chalk drawings -- she likes to partake in a lot of chalk drawing herself these days -- and she said with delight, "Oooohhhhh, look at those BEAUTIFUL chalk drawings," as if she had just seen a collection of masterpieces.
How could I not giggle?
How could I not laugh at her after our trek around the block, when she arrived in the driveway, jumped off her bike and did a little dance, screaming, "I made it home, F-I-R-S-T."
Yes, you did, Olivia. You did insist on being "the leader" the entire way, after all.
This afternoon, I helped my daughter pick out a mini-pumpkin. She was so delighted to be picking out a pumpkin (aahhh, the simple things). We had to get JUST the right one. The stem couldn't be too short or too long. The pumpkin couldn't be too blotchy or too flat. (Geez, do I look forward to picking out clothes with her someday.) And I marvelled that she came home and decorated the thing -- for a school project -- with absolutely no assistance from me.
Before our pumpkin expedition, I watched my girl force -- ahem, coax -- her brother onto McDonalds playground equipment.
Gotta love that never-give-up-spirit.
And after our bike trip, I watched my children succumb to hysterical laughter as Olivia sprayed both herself and Daniel with the garden hose. So much for her "job" of watering the new flowers, which, by the way, also bring a smile to my face.
That was just ONE DAY.
And I didn't even mention the best part.
I sat down with my son today to get him to work on a few things with me. I once put so much pressure on myself to "work with" Daniel. It is a tremendous burden, when you have a severely autistic child, to be both a parent and a teacher. You feel like you always need to keep your child from engaging in self-stimulatory behavior, like you need to keep him active and engaged each moment of the day. It is an impossible task. I have gotten better about giving myself a break from the guilt, but .... as I mentioned, I have been trough hell the past year. Some days, it was all I could do to function at all. I should have been focused on goals for my son, and, instead, I was focused on ... well, breathing.
But today, my boy did some things for me that I didn't know he could do.
It has been a while since I cheered for him like I did today. (And what a shame that is.)
I watched him smile at my pleasure, at my praise.
What a WONDERFUL reminder of how much I have to treasure in my children.
BOTH of them.
The one who amazes me with her intellect.
AND the one who amazes me with his ability to persevere, in his own way, despite a boatload of challenges.
It is a different kind of wonderful than what I once envisioned.
It is a different kind of wonderful than what many people could begin to understand.
And it is a different kind of wonderful than what some people can appreciate.
But today was wonderful.