January 28, 2011

I reject the Holland poem. I know moms who love it; some of them are my friends.

But not me.

My son is disabled. Profoundly disabled. And I am not happy about it, even though I love him dearly and celebrate the many aspects of his personality that make him a neat kid.

I currently am walking through life at a loss for what to say, which is unusual for me. So I want to note the post from a writer I admire. I identify, even though our children are the victims of different monsters.



  1. I agree 100%. I HATE that poem and the ridiculous ND movement. Who the hell wouldn't change their child so they could have an easier time in life! Really, parents who spout how wonderful it all is are in denial and I feel they are in for a rude awakening someday. The parents who live in the real world and not in some fantasy world of, "I wouldn't change a thing. This autism stuff is wonderful" are just plain NUTS!

    Love your blog BTW!

  2. Sorry, I meant to say the parents who live in the real world are the parents who in the end truly help their kids. The ND denialists are not in any way helping their children in the long run.

    Let me also add that in addition to that damn Holland poem here is what else that is hard to take from some:

    1. "autism has made us better not bitter." (yeah, right)

    2. parents who make lite of such wonderful experiences such as feces smearing, destruction of property, agrression and so on. Can't stand to see this. It's not fun or funny people. You'll be in for a rude awakening when your three year old is suddenly 23 years old and still doings these things. And they will be if you stay in denial.

    3. "I've met so many wonderful people because of autism." Um, that may be so but I would rather make friends absent of the monster called autism.

    I could go on but I don't want to overtake your post here which is right on target. Thanks.

  3. I completely identify with that blogger in every way. Autism or any other severe disability is a monster. Any one of us raising a child with these limitations would, of course, want them to be free of all the deficits they have to face everyday. Only the cowards won't admit. The moms who write the flowery blogs are full of shit IMO. Someday they will wake up and realize that.

  4. We all want our kids to be healthy of course! ! ! you lot are ignorant and shallow! we are just focusing on the positives because what else have we got! we are better people!

  5. Would I change my sons disabilities...yes, in a heartbeat! I would take away his challenges, his frustrations and give him a world that is easier for him to live in and be understood by all BUT....I can't do that! I can however choose to give him the best life that he can possibly have! ICANN give him opportunities to gain skills that come much harder to him than to others. I can do ALL of this and still carry a grief that my dreams for him were different, that my family is changed and not what I had planned! I love him with all of my heart! I am in Holland, all of my friends are in Italy. I have made some wonderful new friends in Holland as well! So I would like to say that I am not full of shit or flowers, only trying to live a good life with my wonderful family and do the best I can for us all. And it is NEVER easy, but sometimes we have incredible break out moments that make me cry in happiness because my 6 year old said "milk", because he doesn't talk. Other times I am overwhelmed with sadness because he still isn't potty trained and it is tiring, I have never heard him say he loves me and rarely the sound of his voice. BUT please please don't use your words and anger and sadness to take away power from others who are in similar survival boats trying to stay afloat!