I had a big scare one morning last week as I was driving my kids to school.
I started down the road that borders my neighborhood -- it runs directly behind my backyard. It is a very busy road during the morning.
I approached the part of the road that bordered my own backyard and saw a furry blob.
A black, grey and white furry blob.
"No, no, no," I whispered. "Oh no, oh no, oh no."
I slowed down and drove past the dead cat.
It looked just like Lovey.
I turned down a side street and parked the car. I jogged over, stood smack in the middle of the road and gazed down. (Yes, I could see my car the entire time. Please, nobody call DCFS. I have enough problems.)
The collar wasn't there, but Lovey sometimes gets his collar snagged on bushes and ripped off. I thought there might be a bit more white around the neck than I remembered. BUT the rest of the cat looked EXACTLY like Lovey. And he was crumpled up right there behind my house -- behind the fence I see Lovey walk along and climb over almost daily.
Oh, boo, hoo, hoo.
I moved the cat from the middle of the road to the grass.
I finished taking my kids to school.
I called my dad,
Boo, hoo, hoo.
I texted my best friend.
Boo, hoo, hoo.
I thought to myself: Seriously, God, with all of this crap in my life? With all of this pain and sadness? And now there is no Lovey?????
I know, I know. No reason to question God. I have never believed he causes hardship. I am a believer in an omniscient, keeping-tabs-but-not-interfering-God. It is the only way I can make sense of the world (although I still pray, so go figure).
I went home to get something to use to wrap up the body.
And who is there, basking in the sun in the middle of my driveway????
Dear, sweet Lovey.
OK, so I know I haven't been sleeping much. I haven't eaten much. My mind has been blown away by the details surrounding the crumbling of my marriage.
BUT AM I HALLUCINATING??????
I dropped to the ground and loved on Lovey.
And I drove back to the grassy shoulder.
There was that poor little cat.
I placed him on a towel and gently wrapped him up.
There was no way I could just leave him.
Add it to the list of things I never thought I was capable of doing before life slammed me upside the head with a you-really-don't-have-much-of-a-choice-fastball.
I can remove feline corpses from the side of the road.
The nameless kitty is now buried in my yard.
And I sure am happy every time I see Lovey.